Original Testimony

Here is my original testimony for my baptism, that i started writing but then began rambling on about other things…

Mon Histoire

Well, my story all start from when I was child. This may not be exactly what happened at the time, because I was young, and now, everything from then, is kind of blurry now. When I was younger, my family was Buddhists, and well, I was young, so I had no opinion about it. And then when I was around the 4th grade age, my mom’s friend invited her to church. So that started a chain reaction. After my mom went, she brought me and my brother, and after that, my father went too. At first, I was reluctant to go to church not because I hated church, it was just because I usually slept in on Sundays. But then my mom made me go so I did. I only went to church for the 11:00 Sunday school, even though it was at that time, I was always still arriving late, during worship. Slowly, I began arriving on time, and wasn’t so reluctant to go to church. I kind of liked church anyways. I liked learning, and I still do. From then on, I went to church almost every Sunday, and a few years later, I started going at an even earlier time. I went to the 9:00 Sunday school. Everything then was, well, sort of a routine. I just went to church but I never really thought about it. I was never a thinker as a child. I never really thought about anything. I was always laid back, and didn’t get into any arguments or anything with people from school. I only had the usual sibling arguments with my brother. I have never really let anything stress me out, never. Now that I look back, I don’t remember what I’ve learned from church, or school. I just can’t seem to bring it up. But the thing, is, I know I’ve learned something or why else would I be in high school right now? Even as of now, I can’t really pull up anything I’ve learned last year, of the year before, in school, or church. I’m guessing that everything I learn just integrates into my mind, it’s weird…it seems I have gotten distracted. My mind wanders around a lot when I’m alone, but I don’t tell anyone about it my thoughts. I try, wanting to write down my feelings, but I just can’t ever do it, and so it’s all just trapped in my mind, and never comes out. I guess I don’t open up my other inner thoughts to people. I’m just not used to it, and now I’m writing one of them now, because I’m on a roll, and I can. I have never really opened up to anybody. Lately, I’ve been thinking about it a lot. Why don’t I? Well, I’ve guess I’m not used to these feelings I’m getting. When I was a child I’ve never had these thoughts, so I didn’t need anyone to tell them to. I just have so many thoughts locked up in my mind right now. But when I’m with people, just anybody, these feelings go away. Like, right now, they’re disappearing, because I feel like, I’m talking to someone. I don’t even know how this thought began right now. My thoughts just wander a lot, from thought onto thought, I personally right now get distracted right now from doing things. Like, I’m putting together a puzzle, then I start knitting, then I start reading manga, and the list goes on. Just like my thoughts, I don’t know what starts the thoughts anymore. And now they’re gone, I don’t now what just happened but, my mind right now is totally empty. My thoughts just disappeared. Also, now I can’t write anymore because my story isn’t about what I was writing about no more, it got side-tracked, and I don’t want to delete this because it’s not often that I write down my thought, I want someone to read this, get started off with this so I can start telling them my other thoughts. I mean, I’ve tried writing a diary, but I have never really succeeded, I only ever write in it when I get really mad, and I just have to let it all out somewhere. And now I’m tried, and I didn’t study for my business test yet. I guess I’ll have to do it tomorrow morning. *sigh, I just can’t take this anymore having all these thoughts wander around my mind without anyway out, building up. Now I just have to sum up some courage to give this to someone.

…i never did end up showing this to anyone…