The Spirit

“‘If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow within him.’ By this he meant the Spirit, whom those who believed in him were later to recieve. Up to that time the Spirit had not been given, since Jesus had not yet been glorified. “

- John 7:38-39

my brainstorming.

so does this mean that the Spirit was never given to man before? at all? what about Moses? how did he perform all those plagues with the staff? how about the 12 disciples? how do they teach without the Holy Spirit within them to empower them? or is it just talking about the general believer population? well, Jesus was crucified yet, and he hasn’t built that bridge back between the Father and man, so i guess the Spirit couldn’t be given  yet? but still…i’m wondering how were they all empowered before then? they alone could not do what they did. it is not by man’s power alone, but by God’s.

blah, there are my thoughts, must go ask somebody to help me decipher them now =P

breaking down

ugh i am so angry and depressed all mixed into one bowl right now
fricking eclass teacher messed up my mark
and my mood plummets
ruined my summer
and i actually worked hard
>.<
UGH. can't get the feeling out of my system.
is it disappointment? probably. everything seemed to be going well, the markings i was getting back was great. and then….my report card comes….and the mark i see is crap.

Turning back time

you wish you could turn back time, i do too. but then every precious moment wouldn’t be worth as much as it does to you now. and you wouldn’t be who are you today because every moment of pain that built you up to who you are now wouldn’t be there.

Tempus Fugit? nah.

time doesn’t fly, it hops. while you’re in a moment you don’t notice the time at all. but then it’s done and you’re at the next moment and that’s when you’ve notice time has gone by. therefore, time doesn’t fly because if it did fly, you would notice the time going by every second of that moment.

I think…

I think I have a hunger for the people more than a hunger for God…I want to know people more and more, and through that, I want to know God more, because I want them to know that God is the answer. But I am also afraid that once I know these people, I’ll abandon them.

“I’ll kill. Wiping out those who have made fool of me is what I live for.”

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/afp/090226/world/japan_crime_bomb_child

my title was the last line that was written in this article about a 16 year old boy who was arrested on suspicion of trying to build a bomb to blow up his classmates. the police  found explosive powder and other materials that could be used to make very lethal bombs at the boy’s house

when i read that last line in the article, it really made me wonder what that boy has gone through to make him want to blow up his classmates

i’ve always wondered, what makes people want to go on a rampant killing spree? not just to hurt the people that hurt them, but also those that haven’t done anything to them

well, sure, they hurt you, but that doesn’t mean you should go and hurt them back. you’re just allowing yourself to become like them. people should overcome their hurts and become better than the ones that hurt them.

anyways, back to the boy. how does one ever decide to take someone’s life in such a violent way? how did his mind become like that?

every time a read an article about bombings and shootings and all that sort of violence, i’ve always wondered about the people who do it. i want to know their life story. i wished that there was someone there to help them with their problems so that they wouldn’t have been led so astray and make that decision that they did. i wished someone was there to look out for them.

but people are so unpredictable. the ones that look the happiest, may actually be the saddest ones.

i feel so out of that circle though. i have never experienced events such as these, or ever known anyone with extreme thoughts such as these. or maybe i have met someone who does, but i just never got close enough to them to tell me about it.  =/

The Dark Side of Man

i’m sad.

what’s with this?

it’s just shopping….for something as little as an item on sale, they pay it with death.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/29/business/29walmart.html?_r=1&bl&ex=1228107600&en=95e0984e8f92cc7c&ei=5087%0A

a mob? to buy some materialistic items.

where’s the patience? the calm?

where’s the hold on their sanity?

just letting of their greed run wild.

must such childish acts be shown among grown men and women?

wait, not even childish. i’m pretty sure a child would snap out of that state once they saw another in need of help. wouldn’t they?

black friday sucks.

why is everyone making it live up to it’s name?

http://www.macleans.ca/article.jsp?content=w1128145A

here’s the dark side of man, coming up out of us again and biting us back in the ass.

Split in Two

Conflict

Man vs. Self

Yes or No

Do or Don’t

Stay or Go

Wake or Sleep

Cry or Laugh

Smile or Frown

Hate or Love

Live or Die

Contradiction.

Ugh.

I’ve been feeling quite… “dead” this week

“dead” was the word that i came up with after thinking hard and long about a word to describe what i was feeling

or maybe it should be “zombie” instead?

i’m not quite sure.

all i know right now, is that i feel really really weird

feeling out of place? no, that’s not the right way to describe it…

i myself don’t even know what i’m feeling right now….

stress? yes? no?

i don’t know how long this feeling is going to last, and i have no idea how to cure it

but i’m just going to keep going on, and see what happens

what is God thinking right now? what is he trying to tell me? what does he have in mind for me?

this feeling is quite uncomfortable, please shed some light upon me soon God, before i collapse.